Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
