so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
