Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
