I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
