You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
