your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
