You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
