Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
