and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I will pee on everything he values.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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