i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
