i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
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