Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
