Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
