You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize