I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
