imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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