she was so not down for the gang bang
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
