yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize