i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
