Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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