We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Randomize
