Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
