Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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