Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
