I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
