quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
