I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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