Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
