no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
