Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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