So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
