I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
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