nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
