Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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