The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
