Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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