ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
