see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
