Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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