We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you had me at cake vodka
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
