Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
