you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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