i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
