...so i touched it.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
