where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
We are all done wearing pants today
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
