The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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