strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
