i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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