Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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