I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
