No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
