Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
