Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
