Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
