Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
