Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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