ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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