i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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