The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
